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SlashFirestorm
I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!

Age 38, Male

[Retired NG'er]

Old Folks' Home

Joined on 6/14/03

Level:
40
Exp Points:
17,453 / 17,760
Exp Rank:
1,221
Vote Power:
8.13 votes
Rank:
Scout
Global Rank:
41,948
Blams:
76
Saves:
139
B/P Bonus:
4%
Whistle:
Deity
Medals:
115

SlashFirestorm's News

Posted by SlashFirestorm - January 16th, 2011


It seems that my time on Newgrounds is at an end. I committed the grave mistake of calling a naive little dipshit...well, a naive little dipshit, ON THE INTERNET, through private messaging and his userpage, and he has informed me that my account will soon be banned by the moderators. I know not when the hammer will fall, but it will likely be before the morrow. I thought that there were user-controlled blocking tools available for those modes of communication, but apparently I am in error, and Big Brother will reeducate me.

I would like to say that I love all of my Newgrounds buddies and have always considered this site a sort of home away from home, except there's nothing to eat and I have no idea what any of my friends actually look like and odds are at least a third of them are lying about their age and/or gender. Never before have I been so involved with a website and its users. Back in the beginning, 34615 B/P's ago, I never thought I'd still be on Newgrounds more than half a decade later, but...it was worth it.

And I threw it all away by calling a stupid person a prick via userpage comments and private message. OH THE WASTE! OH THE HUMANITY!

Since I will surely not be here tomorrow, I leave all my NG-possessions to ramagi. I wish I could have married you, ramagi, but ArmandAudrey means serious fucking business. Treat my account well. The password is iwantramagi469.

Farewell, you princes of Newgrounds, you kings of the internet. I take my bow and prepare for e-death.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 22nd, 2010


Somewhere far above the mortal plane...not in heaven, but in a gap between the realms where prophets and deities gathered...the two men looked down upon creation.

Human civilization had grown in strength, and yet they had also grown in stubbornness and ignorance. The holy writings and teachings they'd tried to leave the people had been twisted into excuses for violence and bigotry by world leaders and churches...so badly, this corruption was, that nearly all of the Christians and Muslims that believed themselves to be pure were, in fact, saddening the great founders they held so dearly.

The most recent event was the most tragic in many years; a handful of Muslims had attacked a predominantly Christian nation. And in their self-righteous fury, the land struck out at the lands of Islam, causing destruction and chaos. They denied it was about religion, that it was about terrorism and law and freedom...but they were not fooling anyone but themselves.

Looking down upon the world, Muhammad growled angrily as a young woman was cornered and beaten by a group of so-called Muslims, for the crime of refusing to wear 'traditional clothing'.

"Why does it have to be this way? How were our teachings so abused, so misinterpreted?"

Jesus turned away from the sight as blood began to pour into the alley where he knew this woman would die. Before he could reply, his turned gaze fell upon some of his own followers, who were screaming in front of an abortion clinic at frightened women, intimidating, threatening violence, and abusing and twisting every word he'd try to teach them.

"I do not know what hope is left," he whispered, struggling to hold back tears. "We tried, didn't we? We taught them, tried to teach them the will of God...why did we fail like this?"

"Jesus, it's not all our fault...they are the ones who corrupted our words..."

"Still...we could have done better, couldn't we?"

Muhammad wrapped an arm around him, drawing Jesus in close. "We cannot blame ourselves. God told us that it was our job to deliver the message, and theirs to follow it. It is not on our hands."

Sighing sadly, Jesus turned away from the view and leaned his head against Muhammad's shoulder. "Sometimes I wonder if Father is always right. About us not being able to interfere anymore, I mean. Maybe if we could go back down there and show them what we REALLY want from them..."

"Jesus, even if we did...even if you performed a million miracles to prove your identity...those fools would not accept our words merely because of what we have between us. Do you really think the world of man could accept that what they've been taught since birth is a distorted lie, and that love and compassion is all that God expects of them? Do you really think they would listen to us if they saw us share a kiss?"

They looked back down at an American soldier's funeral. He'd died in another human atrocity, a bloody and pointless war in Iraq, committed for no other reasons than greed and hatred towards the Muslim people. Despite the error of the soldier's ways, he was returning to God now; however, as his parents and family wept over the casket, a group of men surrounded the gravesite, waving signs of hate and screaming.

"I've never seen this before," Muhammad said. "What's going on?"

Jesus, normally a calm and thoughtful man, clenched his fists in rage. "It's despicable. Those men are protesting at that boy's funeral because of the military stance on homosexuals...which, ironically enough, is in itself discriminatory...but not discriminatory enough for those monsters, apparently. So instead, they are using the most painful day of that family's lives to spread their poisonous propaganda! If there really was a Hell, those beasts would deserve to spend eternity in it."

He turned to the prophet, a sad expression on his face. "You're right. They wouldn't accept the truth, not even if we ourselves went down there. Father is right, after all...it is up to them to find the truth, not us."

Muhammad smiled as Jesus's sadness began to diminish. He gently ran a hand through the Son of God's long brown hair, sending a shiver throughout his body.

"I died for them, but still they---"

The Prophet laid a finger over Jesus' lips, hushing him. "Relax, my Savior. It is not right for you to be so stressed on the anniversary of your resurrection."

"For all the good it did..."

"That does not matter. Your act was noble and brave, sacrificing yourself for the people. And you know," he whispered, tracing the finger down the front of Jesus' robes, "that was what made me attracted to you in the first place."

The two lay down on the soft, cloud-covered ground, unseen by man for better or for worse. God, of course, saw them, but despite what the major religions of earth believed, the Father of Heaven had blessed their union long ago; he looked upon their coupling with nothing but happiness, proud that his son and his prophet had found the true Meaning of his creation: love.

"I want to do something special for this day," Muhammad said sultrily. "I know how we usually do it, and...this time, I want you to take me."

Jesus looked at him with wide eyes, uncertain. While there was no clear 'dominant' man in their union, the Messiah had always been the taken, rather than the taker. They'd even joked about it, Jesus saying that "blessed are the meek" while they made love.

"Are you sure? I've never done it like that before..."

"I have no qualms with being having you take me. Besides, I might enjoy it...and I know you will," Muhammad smiled. "Trust me...divinity is nothing compared to how you will feel."

Jesus grinned nervously, pushing the Prophet onto his back. "Very well, but I wish to give you something before I take it." Before Muhammad could reply, he found his robe pulled open and his semi-hard sex being stroked by the Messiah's hand.

"Looks like the Prophet of Allah is ready to serve the Lord," Jesus whispered, fondling the hard shaft until it reached full erection.

"Oh my God," Muhammad groaned.

"No, Jesus," he heard in reply, and both laughed. Jesus leaned up and kissed his man, relishing in the feel of their lips together, their tongues intertwining.

Sin? Jesus thought to himself, bemused. They honestly believe this is sinful? Don't they realize that if God didn't want them to do this, He wouldn't have made them desire it in the first place?

After a moment of sharing each other's mouths, the Messiah broke the kiss and starting moving down Muhammad's body, kissing every inch as he moved closer to his goal. Trailing kisses down his neck, down his hard, taut muscle, Jesus quickly reached the stiff half-foot protrusion of the Prophet, and ran a few kisses up its length. Muhammad buried his hands in Jesus' long locks, desperate for pleasure.

Eager to please, Jesus ran his tongue up the shaft, the tip teasing the head, until he had his lover gasping for more. He then wrapped his sultry lips around the penis and took it into his mouth as deep as he could, until the end of it was in his throat.

Muhammad nearly climaxed right then from the incredible sensation of the tight hot feeling, and had to struggle to hold back the urge to pound into his lover's throat. Luckily, he didn't have to; Jesus was more than willing to move himself.

Starting out slow, the Messiah moved his mouth up and down the hard cock, his tongue stimulating the underside of the shaft, his lips locking on the pole in a wet embrace. He withdrew the sex until only the head remained between those lips, teasing it with a swipe of the tongue, then moved down on it again, filling his mouth with the hot, thick erection.

"I...fuck, I can't last long, Jesus, I'm sorry---"

Do not apologize, it was my intention, the Messiah sent telepathically, and bobbed his head faster on the cock of the Prophet. The Son of God was quite good; it didn't take a deity to repress one's gag reflex, but it helped. Each motion brought the erection deep into the throat of the Christ, providing a hot, slick sensation of pure bliss, and within moments Muhammad was spurting warm cum into his lover, which he eagerly swallowed.

Another good thing about deities and ascended prophets, there was no worry of sexually transmitted diseases.

Withdrawing the penis from his mouth, Jesus smiled at the enthralled look of pleasure on Muhammad's face, glad to please.

"Now...I believe I get to experience some pleasure of my own now, correct?" Jesus asked, grinning further as his lover nodded eagerly.

The Prophet bent over in the submissive position which the Son of God usually took; another thing humans had to learn was that being submissive in matters of sex was not a sign of weakness. There was nothing morally wrong with wanting to please another; the sooner humanity discovered that, the sooner they'd be ready for the True Rapture.

Summoning a handful of lubrication was an easy task for the Son of God. He slicked Muhammad's entrance, the feel of his fingertips there bring the Prophet's spent erection towards arousal yet again. Wiping the remaining lubrication on his own Holy Erection, Jesus moved to get in the unfamiliar position of dominance.

"Don't worry," Muhammad whispered. "Do what feels natural. I can handle the pain of penetration easily. I want you to have the most intense climax of your life, my Prince."

Jesus' erection twitched at those words, and he moved forward, the head of his cock rubbing at the slippery feel of Muhammad's anus. Gripping his hips, Jesus moved forward slowly, feeling the tight ring of muscles first resist his movement, but then slowly part around him.

As he buried himself in his lover, the Messiah groaned in pleasure. He thought he knew sensation; he thought that being in the hands and mouth of his dearest was all that there was. Smiling in ecstasy, Jesus realized that despite being the Son of God, there was still much he did not know.

He looked down to see his erection inside Muhammad up to the hilt; the new feeling of the hot, tight passage gripping his cock was...divine.

"Can I...move?" Jesus asked, and the Prophet nodded.

"Just...slowly at first."

The Messiah slowly, slowly pulled back, feeling the anus clench tightly on his length, as if not wanting him to leave. Which, of course, he didn't; he pulled out to the head, then began pushing forward again, resheathing himself in the warm bowels of his lover.

"Sin, huh?" Jesus asked, eliciting a laugh from Muhammad. The laugh turned into a moan as the thrusting penis began to move faster, probing into his hot ass. With each movement, the Holy Erection rubbed against the Prophet's prostate, stimulating him almost immediately into full erection, and quickly into intense pleasure he'd not known existed. It was not better than penetration; it was merely different. Muhammad thought that he might make this role reversal be more than a mere one-time event.

Jesus groaned in satisfaction, pounding the tight anus of his love, slipping slickly into the warm tunnel. He'd never known the pleasure of the female flesh, but he doubted anything could be better than this...and he didn't think he'd trade this sensation for the world.

Reaching a hand down between the parted legs beneath him, Jesus gripped Muhammad's rock-hard erection, moving his hand on the length as he thrust into his ass. The movement was perfectly in sync, with the Prophet's hips meeting both the thrusts of Jesus' cock and hand to maximize the experience.

Not even the Son of God could last long in this tight heat. Soon Jesus was thrusting as hard as he could, his balls slapping the Prophet's buttocks, his length probing into his ass so fast that it nearly burned.

"I...I'm going to..." Jesus gasped, and Muhammad groaned in near-climax as well. With a hard series of thrusts, the Son of God elicited an intense orgasm from the Prophet; as the seed spilled from his erection, his anus clenched tightly on the penetrating cock, and Jesus could take it no longer. With a last hard thrust and a groan, he spurted more cum into the hot rectum than he'd ever experienced, and the two collapsed down onto the ground together.

Jesus withdrew and lay in the arms of Muhammad, sharing sweet afterglow kisses, reveling in the glorious warmth of the realm.

"Did you enjoy that, my Prince?" Muhammad asked, stroking Jesus' cheek tenderly.

"I loved it...I don't like it more than being yours to take, but I love it just as much. We should switch positions more often," Jesus said with a grin.

Looking down on the world below with all its strife and violence, both sighed sadly. If only some of their love could be felt by the populace, maybe the creatures below would finally be ready to hear God's true purpose for creation: love.

--------------------------------------
--

Epilogue

It was not even two hours after Sunday services let out.

"Faggot!"

"You fucking queer!"

The men kicked the huddled figure hard, without any restraint; this was not a game to them, not an act of bullying, but of pure and simple hatred. The young man tried to cover his head with his hands, screaming in pain and fear as the kicks struck his chest, breaking ribs and scoring away skin.

"Teach you, you goddamned cocksucker!"

Another blow was aimed at his head, breaking three fingers and fracturing his wrist. Pulling back his hand in sheer reflex to the pain, the next kick struck his skull at full force; his neck pulled forward so fast that it cracked, nearly broken. He was no longer capable of sound. Blood poured from his nose and ears.

Satisfied that the fucking scumbag faggot had learned his lesson, the men withdrew, laughing as they walked away.

They stopped by Burger King on their way home. When they got home and removed their good suits, wiping dirt and blood off their shoes, they went about their day as though nothing had happened.

When they prayed that night, none of them asked for forgiveness.

Alone in a secluded field, the broken man was crying silently, shattered. He tried to get up and found that he could not; his arms and legs were not responding.

Suddenly, there was a Light, a bright and shining Light of purest white. His eyes squinted at the sight, trying to make out what it was.

Two figures emerged, both in long, flowing robes. One was a tall man with long hair and startlingly blue eyes; the other a slightly shorter, more muscular man with a proud iron-gray beard and a hard yet kind face.

"We are so sorry, my child," the taller man said, kneeling beside him. "I am so sorry it had to end this way for you, that you had to suffer this much."

The powerful man also knelt beside him, stroking his broken cheek gently. "It is horrible that this happened to you simply because of what you are. Those fools do not understand love, and they do not understand those that feel your kind of love. That is why they hate you, and that is why they fear you."

The broken man tried to respond, but his mortal coil was no longer functioning. He could only tremble in awe at these figures; there was something incredibly vivid about them.

The tall man leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Do not fear, child. Your pain is over. It is time for you to meet the Lord...and you will find that there is nothing wrong with who and what you are. My Father's plan for the world is love; and in the next world, there is none of this horrible intolerance, this disgraceful brutality."

The strong man reached his hand out to the boy. "Come now. Your time suffering has ended."

Gripping the powerful man's hand, he pulled himself up, amazed that he could now stand. Looking down, he realized why; his true body was no longer alive.

The two holy men smiled at him, but it was a sad smile that they shared. While this one's suffering was passed, countless others were still living in fear, subjected to hatred and violence and fear.

Nevertheless, they fulfilled this bittersweet duty, bringing this new Soul back to Heaven, to a realm where love was respected, glorified just as much as the Holy Father. And both men hoped fervently that someday the world would grow out of this bloody mess...that peace would replace war, that acceptance would replace intolerance, and that the feelings of friendship and love between the two Founders could spread among their followers.

THE END

A sequel, "The Second Cumming", is in the works.

"With the first link the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably." ---Captain Picard quoting some Space Judge.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - December 15th, 2009


Which I achieved some time ago and forgot to mention, lol.

Nice. Even as inactive as I am, my e-penis is continuing to grow large and intimidating. When I inevitably get bored of the world and return here, to my place of refuge, my comeback shall be even more glorious. Secret Episodes shall rain from the sky and I will shoot back up the B/P ranks and all those in my path shall perform fellatio upon me.

Oh my, yes.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - September 10th, 2009


Due to my writing work (namely the latest chapter of Sinners, 62000 words...yeah...), I've been rather inactive in recent months. With that titanic chapter behind me, though, and the Elite Guard Barracks calling to me, I shall return with significantly more activity! My wake-up call was the realization that I MISSED A DEPOSIT. OH GOD. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW TO LEVEL UP, INSTEAD OF TODAY.

*sobs*

NEVER AGAIN.

Thus I have returned, and I will continue my efforts to protect the Portal and keep the grandest morons on Newgrounds from fucking up the site any more than they already are, as well as aiding those who wish to do the same. :-D

Something I HAVE been up to on Newgrounds, though...Toss the Turtle. I love this game. Big time.

W-P-S also made a swell sequel to Anusboy. Hooray for actual artists!

That is all for now.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - June 26th, 2009


So, yesterday afternoon my mom woke me up (I'm nocturnal again) and informed me that Michael Jackson was dead. Shocking to hear, since he was never on my "important people who might die in the near future" mental list, but I turned on the news and indeed, it was true.

Seeing all the stuff about how much he contributed to music, how shitty his childhood was, and how he was a hero to so many people, I kinda started feeling guilty about my past ragging about the guy. Yeah, he got a little weird in recent years, but so what? Can you really blame him after all the shit that he had to deal with, both from within his family and from the public?

It's possible that he molested kids. It's also possible that he was an alien surveying our planet (hence the moonwalk). But the fact is, we'll never know. The American legal system isn't exactly rational or competent, and one thing that everyone should be aware of is that few people are ever as bad as the media makes them out to be.

What we DO know, without any doubt, is that he changed the music world forever. That's what his legacy should be, not the tabloid garbage that so many of us relished in for so long. A musician. An artist. A goddamn pioneer.

I'll be putting the damn jokes to rest.

Rest in peace, Mr. Jackson.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 30th, 2009


Egypt is apparently killing all their pigs. Despite there being no evidence that pigs are the actual vector of the outbreak. Oh, and there hasn't been a single case in Egypt yet.

Goddamn it, guys. You used to build pyramids. You should be smarter than this.

On that note, I'm coming down with sickness. I'm also not panicking. I'll be doing the same thing I always do---20% more sleep, lots of water and orange juice, and avoid hacking on people. Seriously, guys, if this little blip of influenza is supposed to be a CLASS FIVE EPIDEMIC OMG, then the system is very, very lame. More than 30000 Americans die each year from influenza. Our current death toll from swine flu is ONE. A young child, (who are among the most common victims of EVERYTHING). One who visited Mexico, with a health care system that's kinda...how can put this nicely...shit.

THIS IS NOT A PANDEMIC. THIS IS FLU SEASON.

sdfgsdfgsdfg COCKS

also happy pico day

also holy shit my account didn't get deleted, WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED? XD

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 27th, 2009


It seems that my time on Newgrounds is at an end. I committed the grave mistake of criticizing an abusive reviewer's reviews and calling him a moron, and he has informed me that my account will soon be banned by the moderators. I know not when the hammer will fall, but it will likely be before the morrow. I thought that there were user-controlled blocking tools available for those modes of communication, but apparently I am in error, and Big Brother will reeducate me.

I would like to say that I love all of my Newgrounds buddies and have always considered this site a sort of home away from home, except there's nothing to eat and I have no idea what any of my friends actually look like and odds are at least a third of them are lying about their age and/or gender. Never before have I been so involved with a website and its users. Back in the beginning, 34358 B/P's ago, I never thought I'd still be on Newgrounds more than half a decade later, but...it was worth it.

And I threw it all away by calling a rulebreaking user a prick via userpage comments and private message. OH THE WASTE! OH THE HUMANITY!

Since I will surely not be here tomorrow, I leave all my NG-possessions to ramagi. I wish I could have married you, ramagi, but GhostSG means serious fucking business. Treat my account well. The password is iwantramagi469.

Farewell, you princes of Newgrounds, you kings of the internet. I take my bow and prepare for e-death.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 22nd, 2009


People who are romantically and/or sexually attracted to persons of the same gender. Also (though increasingly archaic) a state of cheerful happiness.

Gay, however, is not a synonym for stupid or lame.

Get it right, you fucking preteen-minded morons.

This concludes today's public service announcement.

*****

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Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 16th, 2009


THIS MANGA MADE ME CRY. PUNISH IT BY READING IT.

Also (and this should have occurred to me within the first few pages, but I guess I was in denial), it's a shojo manga. For those of you who aren't familiar with manga, it means I just spent two hours reading and tearing up over a story marketed to chicks under the age of 18.

Damn you, emasculating manga I never heard of until last night.

THAT IS ALL

...except for this very Newgrounds-relevant screenshot, anyway. Rofl.

*****

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I have been defeated.


Posted by SlashFirestorm - January 30th, 2009


What would have happened if Brock hadn't taken Ash's under-the-table bribe.

************

Onix reared its massive stone body up into the air, dwarfing the boy from Pallet and his electric rat.

"It's a one-on-one battle this time, Ketchum!" Brock shouted, fully intent on sending this greenhorn back to the little dump of a town he came from.

"Fine!" Ash chittered in idiotic lunacy. "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Pikachu jumped and looked at Ash in bewildered confusion. What the fucking fuck? Is this guy on crack? I'm going to tell him to fuck himself.

"Pika pi! Pika!!!"

Ash raised a fist in the air and cheered. "That's the spirit, Pikachu! You can do it!"

With a frown, Pikachu turned away, nose in the air. There's no way I'm doing this. If he wants to be an idiot, fine, but I am not getting my ass kicked by a thirty foot rock-snake just because numbnuts over there doesn't know what he's doing.

Seeing Pikachu's refusal, Ash gritted his teeth and whispered just loudly enough for only the small yellow Pokemon to hear.

"It fights the Onix in the Gym or else it gets the rape again."

Pikachu's beady little eyes flashed open in terror at that, and cursing in Pika-language, sighed and turned to the enormous Onix.

"Alright! Pikachu, Thundershock!"

"PI?!"

"I SAID, use Thundershock, dammit!"

"Pika..."

Knowing just how stupid this was, but not wanting to get Ash's greasy three-inch cock in his ass again, Pikachu unleashed a powerful bolt of electricity at the titanic beast...

...which harmlessly dissipated as it struck.

Brock and Onix both stared at Ash in amazement. The Pewter City gym leader had fought some pretty stupid trainers before, but this guy? Electricity against a ground type?!

"You've got him on the run, Pikachu!" Ash shouted joyfully, totally oblivious to his own immense retardation. "Follow up with a MIGHTY THUNDER ATTACK!"

This time, Pikachu also turned to his master and sweatdropped. I don't know Thunder, and even if I did, it'd be just as useless! I'm going to call him a gigantic douchebag.

"Pika pi pi!"

"...come on, Pikachu! Thunder! Oh, oh, better, use ZAP CANNON! NO! EVEN BETTER! Fissure it! ONE HIT KILL HAHAH!"

Brock's patience snapped as he heard the moron babble on. Obviously this one had cheated on his Trainer Certification Exams.

"You fucking idiot! What is your problem!?" Brock shouted. "Onix is a ground type. You could be a level 255 ZAPDOS WITH A MAGNET AND USE THUNDER AND STILL NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN!"

"That's not true!" Ash replied indignantly. "If you believe in yourself and your Pokemon, the power of friendship can beat ANYTHING!"

"I don't care if you're having sexual relations with Pikachu---"

"I am."

"---but electricity DOES NOT HIT GROUND TYPES!"

Ash snorted in disbelief, and turned away. "I'm going. Maybe, when you learn what being a Pokemon Trainer is REALLY about, maybe then I'll return."

"Me? I'm the one who needs to know what being a trainer is about?!" Brock yelled angrily.

"Yes. You think Pokemon is about crazy things, like 'strategy', and 'planning', and 'thinking before you act'. Any GOOD trainer knows that it's about blindly rushing into situations and shouting random orders to your Pokemon."

"THAT'S IT!" Brock roared, and Ash spun around in fear at his enraged voice. "Onix! Bind this retard!"

"GROOOOOAR!"

The enormous rock-snake wrapped its powerful body around Ash, just tight enough that the trainer was hopelessly pinned.

"Let me go! I'll tell Officer Jenny!"

Brock laughed derisively. "Officer Jenny's far too addicted to my cock to care what a runt like you has to say." He leaned in to the young boy, a perverse grin alighting his face. "Now...I think it's time to teach you a lesson...about what happens when you don't know your basic type alignments."

Snapping his fingers, Onix slightly shifted his rough grip, shredding Ash's clothing off and leaving his skin red and raw. The boy yelped in pain, then flushed in embarrassment; his lower body was visible to Brock and anyone else who entered the Gym.

"What are you doing!?" Ash cried, struggling to free himself. Pikachu grimaced at the sight of his trainer's cock, and ran out of the Gym in a hurry (where he'd eventually get over that horrid time of his life and return to the wild, where he'd continue pimp-dominating the female Pikachu population with an iron fist and a huge set of Light Balls).

"You need a wake-up call, boy. If you think being an idiot is going to work in the real world, you have another thing coming. What do you think would happen if you came up against Team Rocket with that little electric rat?"

"We'd Thundershock them, and they'd fly into the air, never to bother us again."

"Nope. They'd go get a Golem or something, snap Pikachu's neck, and then sexually assault you," Brock said, his lecher's grin still plastered on his face, his eyes focused on Ash's lower body.

Ash's face paled considerably. He noticed the large tent in Brock's pants, and had a terrible feeling he knew what the source of it was.

"So, moron, I am going to teach you...the hard way...EMPHASIS ON THE HARD...what happens when you're this grotesquely stupid. Onix, flip him over!"

Onix groaned in acknowledgment, moving so Ash was still in his powerful Bind, but was now face-down, his ass and cock exposed.

Ash heard the ruffling of Brock's pants falling to the ground, and shuddered in revulsion. It was one thing to be cramming himself into a Pikachu, but for HIM to be raped? Just because he believed that friendship (however rape-filled) was the key to success?

Suddenly, from very close behind him, he heard Brock's voice again, laughing.

"Is that what you call a cock? Oh my god, it's like a little deformed Caterpie!"

Flushing in shame, Ash said nothing.

"Let me show you what a REAL cock is like," Brock said happily, and Ash suddenly felt something hard and warm pressing between his ass cheeks. It ran along the crack, going from prodding the flesh just below his balls to his entrance, where it started pushing forward insistently.

"No...please, don't!" Ash yelled, squirming and trying to free himself. Onix's grip was unmovable, however...although the feeling of a naked boy in his grasp was starting to arouse the gigantic rock monster.

Brock grinned and pushed harder, feeling the tight ring of muscles strain to resist the large invader. Without any lubrication, penetration was difficult, but it was occurring...just very slowly and painfully.

Ash cried out as he felt his anus start to give, allowing the thick erection to start sliding into him. Oh god, it hurt! It burned like a dozen Charmanders! It stung like a hundred Beedrills!!!

Unwilling to wait any longer, Brock grunted and shoved himself balls-deep into our young hero. Not allowing Ketchum the time to adjust, he began pounding the tight virgin ass with reckless abandon.

Writing in agony, Ash tried to stabilize his mind by thinking of Pokemon metaphors for the experience. Fuck, it was a like a whole herd of Dugtrios were making a new tunnel in his ass! Or like a Steelix was squirming around in there!

Maybe...MAYBE GROUDON HAD AWAKENED INSIDE HIS RECTUM!

The sound of flesh slapping flesh filled the dark, echo-y Gym, along with the heavy breathing of Brock and Ash. By this point, Onix had himself a good ol' five-foot boner...or is that stoner?...and was grinding it against the gym floor, digging sharp gouges in the hard stone ground.

Suddenly, Jessie, James, and Meowth burst in through the front door!

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

The three Rockets' jaws dropped at the sight of their sworn enemy getting sodomized by the town's Gym Leader...with Onix masturbating furiously against the ground as it held the poor little boy.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" James shouted, pretending the sight of that young kid getting violated didn't arouse him.

"Meowth! That's right!"

As the three bolted, Brock stepped up the pace, pumping Ash's tight anus so hard that even Onix was barely able to hold the pair steady. Ash felt a burning shame as his tiny penis grew erect from all the contact on his prostate...and a burning pain from the fact that A NINE INCH COCK WAS IN HIS ASS WITHOUT ANY LUBRICATION.

"If only that redhead could see you now," Brock laughed. "Maybe I'll look her up when you're in the hospital from all the rectal trauma."

Ash began crying now, because he knew Misty had been watching from the windows the whole time. What's worse was she'd started to draw a crowd, who were all silently watching the scene, munching popcorn and Cheri Berries.

Brock felt his orgasm approach, and thrust in and out of the tender puckered hole as fast as he could...and then, with a loud groan that would make an Exploud envious, released his hot cum into Ash's bowels.

After a few moments of allowing the tight passage to milk out every drop of his seed, Brock pulled out quickly and mercilessly, making Ash grunt in sharp pain.

However, it was then that Brock noticed that his Pokemon hadn't achieved release yet!

"Poor Onix...I'll tell you what. You take him now. I'll fuck his mouth while you do."

Ash's eyes widened in disgust and fear. "But...you just fucked me in the ass!!! You can't be serious!"

Brock looked at him for a minute with a sly smile before he spoke. "I find it somewhat amusing that you're more worried about ass-to-mouth than a GIANT ROCK MONSTER FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS. Maybe that says something about you, my friend."

Before Ash could respond, Onix had released him from his Bind, and slithered over to his backside. Brock moved in front of his collapsed form, already erect again, and lifted Ash's chin up.

"Open wide, my little idiot."

With a sobbing breath, Ash took the cock into his mouth, nearly vomiting at the thought of it being in his asshole minutes before. The taste, the smell! It was like an orgy in his mouth, except made up entirely of Grimers!

However, the humiliation from this oral contact was very quickly overshadowed by the terrible sensation of something very, very hard and rough pressing against his sore, gaping anus.

OH GOD IT'S ONIX!!!

Onix's cock was about five feet long and as thick as an adult human's arm.

Dear. God.

It suddenly pushed its way into Ash's bruised bowels, managing to force an entire foot into him. Onix began to pump, causing Ash to be lifted off the floor. Brock held on to Ash's shoulders tightly, going along for the ride.

It was truly a sight to behold for the crowd that had gathered outside. An Onix was sodomizing a young boy, so hard that he was whipping his mighty stone dick through the air like a tea-stirring rod, with the town's noble gym leader holding onto the boy for dear life (and oral sex).

Ash screamed muffled shouts of pain around Brock's thick, thrusting penis, unable to handle the burning, scouring agony of the thick stone cock bulldozing his bowels. Luckily, it didn't last long; Onix had nearly reached orgasm by grinding on the floor, so within five minutes, he was attaining climax.

A massive twenty-gallon explosion of cum erupted from the tip of Onix's enormous penis, sending Ash flying off of the hard organ with an audible popping noise (think balloon-popping...). The NOBLE TRAINER FROM PALLET and Brock crashed through the front window of the Gym and rolled to a stop on the ground in front of the crowd, where Brock finished himself off in Ash's throat with a series of hard, brutal thrusts.

For a moment, nobody moved; they merely stared at the two cum-soaked and dusty males on the ground, and at the Onix who poked his head through the shattered window, a cigarette in its stony mouth. Then the crowd erupted into cheers, pulling Brock up onto their shoulders and crowdsurfing him away to the Pokemon Center, where the gym leader would receive a hero's welcome and a starring role in Poke-Porn 7: Return of the Ninetales.

Ash lay on the ground alone now, except for Misty, who stood over him with an impassive look on her face.

"Wow."

He didn't respond; he merely lay at her feet, crying, coughing up cum, and wondering if his ass would ever feel normal again.

"Wow wow wow," Misty repeated, and Ash, thinking that maybe she'd been impressed at the show...as humiliating as it was...thought that maybe she'd give him some as a reward or something.

But when he looked up, he saw that her gaze was training on Onix...and his enormous rock penis.

Misty waved a half-hearted farewell to the battered trainer, walking over to the mighty Pokemon, who slithered off with her to the nearest Motel 6.

As the sun beat down on Ash's naked, shattered body, he closed his eyes and sighed in shamed defeat.

But hey, at least now he learned that ground types were immune to electric attacks.