View Profile SlashFirestorm
I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!


[Retired NG'er]

Old Folks' Home

Joined on 6/14/03

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SlashFirestorm's News

Posted by SlashFirestorm - December 30th, 2016

So, I noticed that several of my flashes have apparently been deleted. Old, oooold flashes that I made damn near ten years ago, when I was most active on Newgrounds. A little research indicates that they were deleted because they contained music I didn't have the license to.

Really, Newgrounds? Are you fucking kidding me? Half the goddamn uploads here - including the famous ones that made this site's bread and butter - don't own the license to half the shit in them. We gonna delete every single movie that uses video game sprites next?

...actually that might not be a terribly bad idea but that's beside the point

It's honestly embarassing to see Newgrounds kneel to the same bullshit copyright worship that makes other websites shit, and it's the attitude of "herp derp, better safe than sorry!" that's made this place go from being an internet powerhouse to mere internet history. This...this is why you're having trouble paying the bills, Tom. Newgrounds is supposed to be about creativity, and blandly accepting the (very much legally questionable) demands of asshats like the RIAA goes against everything this place used to be about. Newgrounds, I hate to say, is really not much more than a lamer version of Youtube - and THAT is saying something.

For the record, no, I don't actually give too much of a shit about this. I'd looooong since stopped being an enthusiastic member of Newgrounds for many reasons, not just this. I didn't make my flashes for artistic purposes. I didn't monetize them. Hell, I could have probably gone months longer without noticing this if someone hadn't pointed it out to me. But some of these deleted works involved old friends who I've long since lost contract with, and represented a lot of fun and (as shitty as they were) hard work. I would have appreciated a notice beforehand, at least, a chance to download my own work before Newgrounds purged them, or at least make them ACCESSIBLE to me despite not being publicly-viewable. It would have been a simple bit of courtesy that the staff was evidentally unwilling to provide in their rush to make Newgrounds just like every other place on the internet.

Long ago, I used to be a member of a group on Newgrounds that worked against malicious and stolen flash submissions, and we always talked about how we needed to have Portal mods to really get shit done. Well, now we have them, and if I'd have known this is how lame we'd be ten years down the road, I'd have left a lot sooner.

I'm still going to occasionally visit Newgrounds to enjoy the old classics...while I can (how long until Little Red Riding Ho gets deleted for using a ten-second clip of "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"?). But anytime someone asks why Newgrounds is having so much trouble these days, I'm just going to tell them to stop asking questions to which they already know the answers.

I would like to point out that Newgrounds let me keep the flash involving three monsters gangraping a corpse, but took away the five-friend collab that used a Bon Jovi song. Good to know where people stand.

Posted by SlashFirestorm - February 7th, 2012



Let us enjoy this new era of Newgrounds like MEN!


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Posted by SlashFirestorm - July 3rd, 2011

The good things about being a freelance writer:

1. I set my own goddamn hours.
2. I work from my house.
3. My editors are faceless guys, not constant voices screaming in my ear.
4. No sucking up to braindead customers.
5. I can do as many or as few assignments as I want.

The bad things about being a freelance writer:

1. You best be there hitting that refresh button fast, son, because everyone's looking to claim the easiest assignments for themselves.
2. You better be doing as MANY as you want, not as few, because you have to write a lot to make an acceptable living.

So yeah, my job's pretty swell. Infinitely preferable to a job dealing with people on a regular basis.

anyway yep that's all for now


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Posted by SlashFirestorm - May 2nd, 2011

I'm now Level 40!

In less important news, I heard that some guy was killed...forget his name.

HAHA, fuck you Osama, you dead fuck. Awesome that I leveled up on the same day-ish as that. Wish I could have cut up his corpse with my new bloody bone-cleaver, but alas.



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I can hardly believe it!

Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 18th, 2011

I am now a scout.

Man, this has been slow going...the Portal is in even worse shape than I thought. The stuff that passes is absolutely ridiculous---blank screens, broken/fake preloaders, slideshows of static images (that win awards, what the balls?), recolors of the same shitty games, obvious thefts. A great deal of Newgrounders do not deserve the privilege of voting and should have all their B/P erased, and a cadre of Portal Mods should be loosed upon the Portal to make the right decision when the commoners can't be trusted to do so.

Until then, however, there is nothing I can do beyond what I'm already doing. With this new rank, I can inflict 4% more JUSTICE upon flashes...and I will do so.

I'm coming for you, shit flashes. Get outta town while you still can.


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Posted by SlashFirestorm - April 5th, 2011

Slash has returned.

He will not be as lightning, not this time. This time he will come as the sea, slowly but unstoppably eroding all that stands before him.

Prepare yourselves.

EDIT: Okay, goddamn it, if this passes then I am going to kill myself.



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Posted by SlashFirestorm - March 30th, 2011

Not a new chapter for the main story, but a mostly-canon oneshot to celebrate the fourth anniversary of Sinners!

Check out Empty Hourglass on AdultFanFiction.net!

Also, click here to see my full story archive.



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Posted by SlashFirestorm - March 24th, 2011

I love how I downloaded Firefox 4 only to spend a half hour making it look exactly like Firefox 3.


Though seriously, the switching of "open in new window" and "open in new tab" in the right-click menu has been driving me crazy all night.

And yes, I live. Lost track of PM's at some point though. Bleh. I LIVE THOUGH SO...YEP


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Posted by SlashFirestorm - January 22nd, 2011

Paranormal Activity sucked.

I, managing to avoid hearing any major spoilers for it for all this time, watched it last night in my quest to find scary movies I haven't seen yet. Anticipating something that would at least mildly live up to its reputation as groundbreaking and terrifying, I watched it alone, in the dark, hoping for the best. I watched eagerly, waiting for the nightmarish horrors to begin.

They never began.

Realizing this wasn't going to be a GREAT movie fairly quickly, I began waiting for the jump scares. Ah, jump scares---they're cheap, and their overall effect is minimal without an accompanying "passive fear" background, but at least they WORK. A movie built on jump scares is rarely a GREAT movie, but it can at least accomplish the feat of making the viewer jittery and paranoid.

Those never came, either. And no, the pitifully-obvious-in-advance noises and the final scene with bitch leisurely lunging at the camera do not count.

So I say to myself, hey, maybe the ENDING will be so good it'll make up for it! Oh, wait, no. Bitch gets possessed---barely (I've seen scarier "possessions" from my youngest brother when he loses at a video game). After a long and agonized scream that made me think "ah, finally something will HAPPEN in this fucking movie", she kills her boyfriend offscreen and chucks him at the camera far too slowly and quietly to make me jump. Then she attacks the camera. End. Not even a post-credit stinger for fuck's sake.

And yes, I know it has multiple endings. Looked them up after I was done---they were all JUST AS BAD. At least the one where she cuts her throat has SOME shock value, but far too little to make up for the rest of the damn movie.

In the past few days I've watched/re-watched Dracula (the classic), Frankenstein (ditto, though I'd love to see the 1910 Edison version sometime if it's possible), The Shining (novel's better, but that doesn't mean the movie ain't awesome), Ju-On 2 (the Japanese versions are much better than the Western ones), and Saw VI. They all dwarfed this fucking movie. You heard me right---a goddamn SAW movie, not precisely the pinnacle of cinema, made Paranormal Activity look like a fucking joke. And that is sad.

Maybe I'm just spoiled from a decade and a half of Stephen King and horror movies from the old days, but this movie was so boring, cliche, and un-scary that I get more chills from Lamb Chop's Playalong. Song that doesn't end IN-DEED.

On a scale from one to ten, I give it 0.45. That's slightly better than The Village but slightly worse than a camera with the lens cap still on.

Incidentally, re-watching Dracula the other day...goddamn, those old sets are so awesome. And not just for the 1930's---I've yet to see any bluescreen or CGI backgrounds a tenth as cool and atmospheric as old-school Castle Dracula.


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Posted by SlashFirestorm - January 18th, 2011

I know it doesn't LOOK that way. I mean, this post exists. I still have all my stats (such as all news posts, flash reviews, audio reviews, experience points, level, voting power, enhanced voting power, B/P rank, BBS posts, medals, flash submissions, flash co-authorships, trophies, favorites, and uploaded "art"). But LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING. See, somebody informed me through the Private Message System Machine Device Network that my account was deleted because I was MEAN to them, and they must clearly know what they're talking about! Surely they wouldn't be, you know, fucking stupid, right?



also are they ever gonna make a new star trek series or did enterprise fucking kill it forever


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