SlashFirestorm's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Paradise Teaser]

This is a static screen with music.

I don't know why you thought this would be acceptable.

[Madness Combat]

A piece of Newgrounds history. Amazing how such humble beginnings eventually became so epic and inspired countless other works from so many people.

Also, for anyone wondering where the music is, somehow it gets lost in mp4 format. Just click "swf" format under the author information on the left side of the screen and it's still there.

[Bunnykill 4]

Indeed worth the wait!

Review: Graphics: 10/10. You're often compared to Krinkels, but I have to say that when it comes to visuals, you're the superior artist. Colorful scenery, exciting battle effects, and the best combat animation I've ever seen in any flash. It's astounding how you keep surpassing yourself with each new installment of the series.

Audio: 10/10. Excellent quality, exciting and suspenseful. The rapid beat goes along perfectly with the insanely fast fighting. Rajunen should be proud---if he put his stuff on the Audio Portal, I'm sure it'd be at the top.

Combat: 10/10. Shit, that was fast! I thought that the final lightsaber battle of BK3 was fast, but BK4 matched its speed in its SLOWEST moments and ridiculously surpassed it over and over again. The fighting style was indeed very ninja-y, with countless hidden weapons and assailants attacking from the shadows. The best fighting I've ever seen. I loved the Super Saiyan sorta deal that Snowball had at the end, too. :-D

Overall presentation: 10/10. It's hard to believe that the series could get better after BK3, but shit, this one kicks its ass. Even if the BK movies are one-shots when it comes to continuity, the addition of a female fighter certainly makes things more interesting, and one wonders if this will be her last appearance.

Ways to improve: There's nothing that this flash lacks that I can think of. The only thing I can suggest is that the next installment not take as long as this one did...but honestly, if BK5 is as awesome and lengthy (I was amazed that the excellence kept going for so long!) as this episode, take all the time you need. It'll be worth the wait.

[The Pretenders]

I have to admit, it was better than I expected!

Graphics: 8/10. A little dark and blurry at times, but you did the best you could with size limitations, so it's fine. Surprised you could get five+ minutes of video into 19 megs with quality this good. The intro was nice, too...seemed like a "real" movie/television program intro scene, heh.

Audio: 8/10. Voices were a little hard to understand at times, but nothing drastic. The narration did a good job of being somber and serious...until the anal fissure cream massacre was brought up. XD

Acting: 10/10. Perfectly fit into the faux-serious storyline, with the distraught and weary detective, and the gunfight was awesomely hilarious. As was the celebration over tostitos.

Humor: 10/10. Totally started out as a serious cop story, with everything deadly serious, until the mention of anal fissures cream. One wonders why the entire family had them, Mister Detective. XD The gunfight was the highlight of the movie, with the bangs and bams being absolutely hilarious, as was their aggravated interruption. Well done.

Overall presentation: 10/10. I've never been a fan of live action stuff on Newgrounds, but this was an exception. You managed to cram a lot of goodness into 19 megs without sacrificing much video or audio quality, along with a humorous story that was fun to watch. Good job.

Ways to improve: I can't really think of much, since this flash appears to have been filesize optimized well and the storyline was perfect as it was. Perhaps, as others have mentioned, the lighting could have been a bit better, since dark scenes coupled with the slight distortion of filesize cramming can make viewing difficult at times.

Fro responds:

Thanks I'm happy you enjoyed it!

For the lighting in the future we may have a better computer, and I'm going to look up some ways to get good lighting even with night scenes. In the morning we really have to be careful because the sun leaves nasty glares.

The next movie was shot in the sun, but just hasn't been put together yet. Not that I know of at least.

The high quality version is over 80 MB, so you can imagine the terrible things we have to do to these files to get them to uploading size.

Thanks for the review. It's greatly appreciated.

[Anusboy]

In a class of its own.

Graphics: 10/10. There are lots of different kinds of animation on Newgrounds. There's shitty stick figures. There's pasted sprites. There's decent hand-drawn stuff. But this is in that extremely rare class of epic, because unlike the vast majority of animations on Newgrounds, this is truly art. If there's a word for this style, I don't know it, but it reminds me of John Kricfalusi's work, what with the grotesque images and all. Really good stuff.

Sound: 10/10. No complaints here; the background music, sound effects, and voices were all swell.

Humor/Message: 10/10. I'm not sure if humor is the right word to describe this flash. There was humor to be had, if one wanted it---the slutty girl and her enthusiastic admirer, and God/Allah/whatever the fuck that was getting shot in the eye---but its tone had that sort of "it's as serious or lighthearted as you want it to be" thing that David Firth pulls off pretty well.

Overall presentation: 10/10. With animation on a professional level of skill and talent, polished audio, and a storyline very open to interpretation, this is among the best flashes that Newgrounds has to offer, even if you don't get as much credit as other less controversial authors (many of whom are overrated).

Ways to improve: I really can't think of anything. This flash wasn't lacking in any noticeable way.

Awesome stuff.

W-P-S responds:

Thank you kindly!

[: Tech Support V :]

Not as bad as I feared.

I must admit, I was expecting something crappy from you, but this one wasn't half bad.

Graphics: 4/10. The graphics are still mediocre (though nonetheless above average when compared to others), and the animation minimal, but the lack of traced bitmaps is in your favor. You seem to be including more detail in your drawings than in your older flashes. Keep that up.

Audio: 4/10. The background music was minimal and repetitive (and got a bit annoying near the end), and Foamy's voice still makes my ears bleed, but I'll admit that I liked the Indian guy's voice.

Humor: 8/10. Alright, I'll admit it; unlike a lot of Neurotically Yours episodes, this one made me laugh. The fuck-off half-pleased, half-pissed attitude of a guy who's already lost his job but still has some time to kill is an appropriate source of humor, and the tech support guy played it well.

Overall presentation: 5/10. While the graphics are only 'meh', and the audio somewhat below average, the humor makes up for those flaws and drives this flash from 'not very impressive' to 'not that bad at all'. I hope that you can continue this level of quality and improve upon it.

Ways to improve: more animation is always a good thing. Other than shifting their posture, Foamy and tech support guy are mostly static, and the humorous dialogue doesn't change the fact that the eyes aren't getting much of a treat. Similarly, the background music could use a little more 'oomph'; you don't want it to be too beat-tastic, for fear of breaking audience concentration, but the drumming got monotonous as the flash went on. Try to strike a middle chord between can't-pay-attention and boredom/annoyance.

Well, I'm pleased to see that you've improved since I last viewed your work some time ago. Keep it up.

[Ninja fight awesome]

Couple ways to improve.

Download a NG preloader (there's a download link above the main navigation header), and make sure to put a stop command on the first frame. Also have a stop command on the last frame, so the animation doesn't loop.

We can see the end of the 'ground' on the right of the screen, which makes it a bit awkward when someone is sent flying to the right. Extend the 'ground' beyond the boundaries of the stage to prevent this problem.

TEKUHASHI responds:

thx, ill get it up once i reinstall flash srry :P

[NSFW's "The Miracle"]

Terrifyingly awesome.

I've seen some pretty bizarre pairings during my fanfiction browsing, but this is perhaps the most random and disturbing one I've ever come across. And as a Stephen King fan who's read It about a dozen times, seeing naked Pennywise was especially creepy, heh.

Graphics: 7/10. Adequate, and I fucking busted out laughing when I saw Pennywise's gigantic screaming face on the egg. The shopped heads actually made things a lot funnier than it would have been with drawn ones...

Audio: 10/10. Music choice was epic. The honeymoon was too brilliant for words, and the maternity ward scene's grandiose use of "When A Child Is Born" was delightful.

Humor: 10/10. The Burger King and Pennywise fall in love, get married, and have a child delivered by Bill Cosby using salad tongs. This is how absurdist humor is supposed to be done. Win.

Overall Presentation: 10/10. A disturbing, hilarious musical love story that is almost adorable in its fucked-up-itude. Bravo.

[The Last Two Men on Earth]

You fuckin' bald piece of shit. :-D

This is, without a doubt, the single most hilarious flash on Newgrounds. I don't believe that it took me this long to get around to watching it...

It's been almost a year since your last submission. Don't stop, dammit. We need crazy-ass shit like this to make up for all the boring crap on Newgrounds. :-D

[: People Pissing Me Off :]

*sigh*

Disappointed again.

Graphics---1. Same mediocre-drawn Foamy doing the same limited movement and gestures. You lost points for the random bimbo in the background. See through your tired tricks, we do.

Audio---1. Same poorly-conceived high pitched voice and reused sound clips. No originality; background music, ambiance, sound effects, all were minimal or non-existent.

Humor---0. A pointless unfunny rant that jumped from subject to subject with all the transitional grace of a panicking newbie comedian hiding behind the chicken wire of a local comedy club.

Overall Presentation---0. Absolutely abysmal. The humor fails so hard in this episode that it's almost funny...but not quite. Foamy rants (as usual) about several innocuous things that few people actually care about (as usual) without any humor or particularly sophisticated wit (as usual). What made this episode stand out---in a bad way---is how many topics he covered in a short time...without any transitional material whatsoever.

Like I said above, it reminded me of one of those newcomer comedians who show up at a club, expecting two people, and finds himself confronting an audience of ten...and when they don't respond to his nervous and unfunny material, he jumps from topic to topic wildly, praying something will make the audience react positively.

No sir, none of Foamy's points had even the faintest hint of originality, wit, or humor. Combine that with mediocre graphics (including a pointless and humorless tits appearance for your handful of remaining fans) and minimal animation and what do you have?

Well, I compared the last episode, Conspire to Rewire, to a Pube Muppet flash without the funny (which is nothing). This is like multiple Pube Muppet flashes without the funny, all in one flash...which is a lot of nothing.

No sir, I didn't like it.

Ways to improve---new concept. I didn't exactly expect this episode to shine, not after the failure of Conspire to Rewire, but this was so much worse that it fairly screams Foamy's funeral dirge to the world. He's old. He's not funny. He hasn't been funny in a long, long time. Use your modest graphical potential and create a new series with an original cast and some sort of coherent and/or funny storyline. Make the characters do more than wave their arms and yell about random things.

I'll end this review with a realization I just had. I compared Foamy's performance in this episode to a struggling comedian, but there's a better analogy I can make. I went down to the social security office last week, and while sitting in the waiting room I saw this old and obviously senile woman come in. She wandered around, yelling at people in her way, ranting on and on about seemingly unrelated topics that had nothing to do with each other (or even why she came to the social security office). It wasn't funny crazy, though...it was uncomfortable, awkward, 'oh god I hope she leaves' crazy.

Mister Mathers, please move on with your career. When I'm more entertained by senile old women in government office waiting rooms than your work, you know something is terribly, terribly wrong.

If you need any advice on the comedic formula, there are plenty of people (myself included) that can help. Good day, sir.