Score: 10

"Absolutely bloody brilliant."

submission: Metal Gear Funnies

date: July 25, 2008

I am ashamed that I missed this flash's premiere due to my inactivity. :-( Oh well, better late than never.

Never have I seen such a diverse bunch of humor, mockery, and artistic skill. This is vastly superior to the source, truly funny and beautifully made, even with (or perhaps because of) all the dicksucking and hot tapir oral. :-O

I don't think I could pick a single chunk of it to be the best, although the Dora's Happy Box segment made me laugh especially hard for some reason...kinda got me a little excited, too. Oh god...

Y'all put together something fucking epic here. Good job. Massive run time was also a plus. Time well spent. I look forward to the next crazy-ass collab that annihilates the hopes and dreams of the ignorant populace.

Also, more tapir oral please.

Favorited.

Score: 10

"You fuckin' bald piece of shit. :-D"

submission: The Last Two Men on Earth

date: July 6, 2008

This is, without a doubt, the single most hilarious flash on Newgrounds. I don't believe that it took me this long to get around to watching it...

It's been almost a year since your last submission. Don't stop, dammit. We need crazy-ass shit like this to make up for all the boring crap on Newgrounds. :-D

Score: 0

"*sigh*"

submission: : People Pissing Me Off :

date: March 11, 2008

Disappointed again.

Graphics---1. Same mediocre-drawn Foamy doing the same limited movement and gestures. You lost points for the random bimbo in the background. See through your tired tricks, we do.

Audio---1. Same poorly-conceived high pitched voice and reused sound clips. No originality; background music, ambiance, sound effects, all were minimal or non-existent.

Humor---0. A pointless unfunny rant that jumped from subject to subject with all the transitional grace of a panicking newbie comedian hiding behind the chicken wire of a local comedy club.

Overall Presentation---0. Absolutely abysmal. The humor fails so hard in this episode that it's almost funny...but not quite. Foamy rants (as usual) about several innocuous things that few people actually care about (as usual) without any humor or particularly sophisticated wit (as usual). What made this episode stand out---in a bad way---is how many topics he covered in a short time...without any transitional material whatsoever.

Like I said above, it reminded me of one of those newcomer comedians who show up at a club, expecting two people, and finds himself confronting an audience of ten...and when they don't respond to his nervous and unfunny material, he jumps from topic to topic wildly, praying something will make the audience react positively.

No sir, none of Foamy's points had even the faintest hint of originality, wit, or humor. Combine that with mediocre graphics (including a pointless and humorless tits appearance for your handful of remaining fans) and minimal animation and what do you have?

Well, I compared the last episode, Conspire to Rewire, to a Pube Muppet flash without the funny (which is nothing). This is like multiple Pube Muppet flashes without the funny, all in one flash...which is a lot of nothing.

No sir, I didn't like it.

Ways to improve---new concept. I didn't exactly expect this episode to shine, not after the failure of Conspire to Rewire, but this was so much worse that it fairly screams Foamy's funeral dirge to the world. He's old. He's not funny. He hasn't been funny in a long, long time. Use your modest graphical potential and create a new series with an original cast and some sort of coherent and/or funny storyline. Make the characters do more than wave their arms and yell about random things.

I'll end this review with a realization I just had. I compared Foamy's performance in this episode to a struggling comedian, but there's a better analogy I can make. I went down to the social security office last week, and while sitting in the waiting room I saw this old and obviously senile woman come in. She wandered around, yelling at people in her way, ranting on and on about seemingly unrelated topics that had nothing to do with each other (or even why she came to the social security office). It wasn't funny crazy, though...it was uncomfortable, awkward, 'oh god I hope she leaves' crazy.

Mister Mathers, please move on with your career. When I'm more entertained by senile old women in government office waiting rooms than your work, you know something is terribly, terribly wrong.

If you need any advice on the comedic formula, there are plenty of people (myself included) that can help. Good day, sir.

Score: 10

"Not bad!"

submission: LL- Turd Lock is born

date: March 5, 2008

For a first flash, it was pretty swell. A little short, yeah, but still good. And I lol'ed, which is all that really matters. :-D

Perfect 10 review score for the brilliant and appropriate use of "Scat Man". ^_^

Score: 5

"Oh ho ho."

submission: Oklahoma City Escapades

date: March 3, 2008

You know, a couple years ago, when I was but a Newgrounds nooblet, this flash offended me so badly that I wrote it a ranting abusive review, which eventually got deleted.

And now, years later, as a seasoned Newgrounds veteran, I look back on this flash and laugh, because this is one of my favorite kinds of flashes---the kind that pisses the weak-willed people off so much that I can lol my ass off (and get some nice whistle points).

While the flash itself is undeniably terrible---the graphics are sloppy, the sound is agonizingly repetitive (kudos for using "Celebration", though), and the mechanics are faulty (several glitches and near-required use of the tab key---it is the accomplishments of this flash, both in terms of media exposure and backlash, that make me smile.

I can't wait for the next "OMG HOW DARE YOU" flash from Newgrounds. It may be getting harder and harder to shock people, but there's always a crowd of gullible crybabies to exploit, along with our own take-it-to-the-limit userbase. :-D

Good job, good sir. You've done Newgrounds proud.

Score: 10

"Haha, sweet!"

submission: Kowr Neeh Tunnel

date: March 2, 2008

Awesome stuff! I haven't seen a claymation this good in a long time.

The animation was very smooth, and you did a good job with lighting and making the movement nice and fluid. The actual content was swell---I don't know if I've ever seen a battle claymation as good as this one. Combat effects were well done, especially considering that the average clay flash just has them poking each other with pencils, lol.

Fifened. Awesome stuff, keep it up!

Score: 0

":-/"

submission: : Conspire To Rewire :

date: March 1, 2008

Before I begin this review, I would like to say that I'm not rating this a zero just to be an ass. I've been disappointed with your work for a long time, but I've been willing to give your stuff multiple chances to impress me.

The last flash of yours that I had seen was Hot Enough For Ya, which was...not exactly a sterling example of creative brilliance. Considering that you've released several works since then, I don't think I'm unreasonable in expecting some improvements in this episode, both in terms of construction and presentation.

Unfortunately, I was disappointed.

GRAPHICS---2/10. Same old graphics, nothing new or interesting. There's almost zero animation; hell, both characters are all but stationary. The random sex doll theme of this episode didn't win any points from me---I'll elaborate in the Presentation category. At least there weren't any traced bitmaps this time.

SOUND---2/10. Same old sound quality. Character voices are barely tolerable...the quality is okay, but I've never liked the squeaky voice of Foamy and I doubt I ever will.

HUMOR---0/10. The robot's blabberings were childish scat humor, something I'd expect of the Barney Bunch (Drew rest their souls) and not an award-winning multiple-front-page user like you. Foamy and his buddy didn't bring up anything clever or witty...just ranting. And that ranting is old.

OVERALL PRESENTATION---0/10. Look, one sex-themed flash is cute. Two is tolerable. But for fuck's sake, how long have you been relying on mediocre hand drawn porn and sex innuendo to get laughs, now?

Sexual humor and images are not inherently bad---hell, my flash work is founded on it. But if it's not funny/arousing, and---most importantly---not in an appropriate context, it crashes and burns.

I'm not zero'ing this because it features a sex robot. I'm not even zero'ing this because you've played the Teenage Fap Card countless times before. I'm zero'ing it because it lacks the appropriate context. It looks like it's trying to be sexy, funny, and clever, all at the same time---and it fails to reach any of those goals.

The drawings aren't good enough to turn me on. The humor is childish and unfunny. The wit's highest point is "make it poop on them".

No sir, I didn't like it.

WAYS TO IMPROVE---Honestly? Like a bunch of others have said, move on. The series is older than dirt, and it's been getting worse, not better, for years. There is no improvement between this flash and Hot Enough For You, which you submitted six months ago. Concept is dead; move on.

Your basic art skills are decent, but for the love of Fulp, ANIMATE. Make the characters do something other than wave their hands and shift their posture. This would be getting a three or four from me if the robot had actually DONE what she said, instead of them just talking about it. And if the humor had been lulzworthy, it probably would have gotten a seven or eight from me.

But as it is, this is little more than a Pube Muppet flash without the funny. Which is nothing. Hence the score I'm giving you.

I hope to see something new and interesting from you in the future. Try something else---anything. Doesn't have to be something epic, but anything new (non-NY) from you would revitalize a lot of people's interest in your work.

As for me? Well, I've nearly lost hope. I was hoping to get a lol-fest, hoping that half a year would have given you time to improve...but, alas, I was wrong.

When it comes to potential, you're ahead of most of the guys here. I know that you have the tools available to make a decent flash. But when it comes to execution, presentation, and context...you're on the same achievement level as Pube Muppet or the Barney Bunch. And while that's okay for us self-admitted bums, it shouldn't be okay for one of the most popular artists on this site.

Don't worry about Foamy. If you make a new and original series, and it's enjoyable, I promise that we'll embrace it just like we did for Neurotically Yours...back in 2003.

Score: 10

"Worth the wait!"

submission: Demithyst Part 5

date: February 28, 2008

Good to see part five finally up and on Newgrounds!

This installment was rather creepy...the sound effects when they showed London locked up made it feel like evil was just radiating off of him, heh. Awesome voice acting, and I love the blend of animation styles.

Can't wait for the next episode. Keep on trucking, heh. Us dedicated fans will be waiting as long as it takes. :-D

Score: 6

"Haha, cute."

submission: little bug

date: February 24, 2008

For your first submission, that was pretty nice. Decent animation and acceptable graphics, good soundtrack...you've got a nice starting point to work with!

I hope to see more from you in the future as you get more experienced and improve. Keep up the good work!

Score: 10

"Sandshrew!"

submission: Adolf Hitler:CAI493+D 027

date: February 19, 2008

Hitler's Sandshrew is an excellent addition to his team, and will be useful in the sand-strewn deserts of northern Africa---where he keeps his wine cellar, for course. Certainly no military bases. No way.