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SlashFirestorm

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SlashFirestorm

Age/Gender: 22, Male
Location: Pensacola, FL
Job: Starving Artist

THERE ARE NO FINGERPRINTS DEEP UNDERWATER, NOTHING TO TIE ONE TO A CRIME

Newgrounds Stats

Sign-Up Date:
6/14/03

Level: 30
Aura: Evil

Rank: Sup. Commander
Blams: 20,412
Saves: 13,793
Rank #: 89

Exp. Points: 9,925 / 9,990
Exp. Rank #: 874
Voting Pow.: 7.19 votes

BBS Posts: 4,085 (2.1 per day)
Flash Reviews: 450
Music Reviews: 58
Trophies: 4
Stickers: 0

Latest Flash Reviews

450 Reviews | 158 w/ Responses

Score: 10
Metal Gear Funnies

"Absolutely bloody brilliant."

submission: Metal Gear Funnies
date: July 25, 2008

I am ashamed that I missed this flash's premiere due to my inactivity. :-( Oh well, better late than never.

Never have I seen such a diverse bunch of humor, mockery, and artistic skill. This is vastly superior to the source, truly funny and beautifully made, even with (or perhaps because of) all the dicksucking and hot tapir oral. :-O

I don't think I could pick a single chunk of it to be the best, although the Dora's Happy Box segment made me laugh especially hard for some reason...kinda got me a little excited, too. Oh god...

Y'all put together something fucking epic here. Good job. Massive run time was also a plus. Time well spent. I look forward to the next crazy-ass collab that annihilates the hopes and dreams of the ignorant populace.

Also, more tapir oral please.

Favorited.

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Score: 10
The Last Two Men on Earth

"You fuckin' bald piece of shit. :-D"

date: July 6, 2008

This is, without a doubt, the single most hilarious flash on Newgrounds. I don't believe that it took me this long to get around to watching it...

It's been almost a year since your last submission. Don't stop, dammit. We need crazy-ass shit like this to make up for all the boring crap on Newgrounds. :-D

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Score: 0
: People Pissing Me Off :

"*sigh*"

date: March 11, 2008

Disappointed again.

Graphics---1. Same mediocre-drawn Foamy doing the same limited movement and gestures. You lost points for the random bimbo in the background. See through your tired tricks, we do.

Audio---1. Same poorly-conceived high pitched voice and reused sound clips. No originality; background music, ambiance, sound effects, all were minimal or non-existent.

Humor---0. A pointless unfunny rant that jumped from subject to subject with all the transitional grace of a panicking newbie comedian hiding behind the chicken wire of a local comedy club.

Overall Presentation---0. Absolutely abysmal. The humor fails so hard in this episode that it's almost funny...but not quite. Foamy rants (as usual) about several innocuous things that few people actually care about (as usual) without any humor or particularly sophisticated wit (as usual). What made this episode stand out---in a bad way---is how many topics he covered in a short time...without any transitional material whatsoever.

Like I said above, it reminded me of one of those newcomer comedians who show up at a club, expecting two people, and finds himself confronting an audience of ten...and when they don't respond to his nervous and unfunny material, he jumps from topic to topic wildly, praying something will make the audience react positively.

No sir, none of Foamy's points had even the faintest hint of originality, wit, or humor. Combine that with mediocre graphics (including a pointless and humorless tits appearance for your handful of remaining fans) and minimal animation and what do you have?

Well, I compared the last episode, Conspire to Rewire, to a Pube Muppet flash without the funny (which is nothing). This is like multiple Pube Muppet flashes without the funny, all in one flash...which is a lot of nothing.

No sir, I didn't like it.

Ways to improve---new concept. I didn't exactly expect this episode to shine, not after the failure of Conspire to Rewire, but this was so much worse that it fairly screams Foamy's funeral dirge to the world. He's old. He's not funny. He hasn't been funny in a long, long time. Use your modest graphical potential and create a new series with an original cast and some sort of coherent and/or funny storyline. Make the characters do more than wave their arms and yell about random things.

I'll end this review with a realization I just had. I compared Foamy's performance in this episode to a struggling comedian, but there's a better analogy I can make. I went down to the social security office last week, and while sitting in the waiting room I saw this old and obviously senile woman come in. She wandered around, yelling at people in her way, ranting on and on about seemingly unrelated topics that had nothing to do with each other (or even why she came to the social security office). It wasn't funny crazy, though...it was uncomfortable, awkward, 'oh god I hope she leaves' crazy.

Mister Mathers, please move on with your career. When I'm more entertained by senile old women in government office waiting rooms than your work, you know something is terribly, terribly wrong.

If you need any advice on the comedic formula, there are plenty of people (myself included) that can help. Good day, sir.

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Latest Audio Reviews

58 Reviews | 15 w/ Responses

Score: 10
_-={Newgrounds Spectrum}=-_

"Holy damn!"

date: March 5, 2008

I was actually exposed to this song in a flash and was amazed by it. Absolutely epic, and knowing that such a masterpiece was produced by a Newgrounders, for Newgrounds, makes me feel all warm and NG-patriotic inside.

There's really little I can say about this piece other than "awesome"; I have no complaints and can't think of any way that you could improve this perfection any further. Fifened, ten'ed, favorited---brilliant.

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Score: 10
The Beanstalk

"Beautiful"

submission: The Beanstalk
date: February 17, 2008

A very nice piece with lots of variety, ranging from quiet and relaxing to loud and soul-stirring. The complexity of the piece is amazing, and the quality is beautifully clear. Overall, a very epic-feeling, well-made track.

Bravo, and fifened. Keep up the good work.

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Score: 10
Green, Piano(NB Remastered)

"Amazing!"

date: February 16, 2008

Absolutely beautiful! A nice and catchy jazz song with crystal-clear quality---all one could ever ask for. You and NathanBlack have amazing audio skills, and I hope to hear a lot more from the both of you.

Bravo, and fifened.

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